


afterthoughts on death

by briefdelusions



Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 10:13:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18092369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/briefdelusions/pseuds/briefdelusions
Summary: After Roger's death, Jon thinks back to the warning Alanna had given him and he wonders why his cousin would do such a thing.





	afterthoughts on death

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This is (obviously) my first work in the Tamora Pierce fandom. I have been reading her works since I had been twelve and decided to say 'to hell with it' and start writing some fics in Tortall. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think!

_“I would never think that he would do anything like that Alanna! He’s my best friend! The one who taught me how to ride! He would never do anything like you suggested!”_

Those words, spoken from so long ago it had seemed, had haunted him as he stood beside his father. Cousin Gary and Uncle Gareth on his left. Raoul a comforting presence next to the Naxen family. He watched as the Black God’s priests had laid Roger to rest in the catacombs underneath the palace. It had not made any sense to Jonathan. Those that were responsible for treason were usually burned on Traitor’s Hill. What made Roger so different? He wanted to know. What were you thinking on giving him that choice Father?

He could never have told his father that. Betrayal had filled him alongside so many other emotions. He suddenly found it constructing. Being in the lower part of the palace and surrounded by those close to him. They were watching his every move. He made sure to keep his expression smooth. Though no doubt he was angry. Angry as he should be. Tears glimmered his eyes as his hands doubled into fists.

You did this, he thought to Roger’s dead body. You did this to Mother. You made Mother so ill so you can take the throne that is rightfully mine.

He remembered the night after Alanna, his Alanna, had been made a knight and passed her Ordeal. He remembered the numbness that spread through him as he gazed down at the dolls that represented the important people in the court. His mother’s, though, almost broken his heart. It had looked worn. This had been what was going to kill her. There had also been one of Alanna mixed in with them.

How could you!? He had wanted to scream at Roger then. I thought I could trust you! He had to stand by and watch as Roger tried to turn the tables on Alanna. He had to stay back, knowing that she could handle herself. And she did.

“Come Jonathan,” Roald’s voice pulled him from his thoughts as they were finishing up. “There is work to be done.”

“Yes father,” He whispered but not before throwing Roger a death glare.

May you rot in the realms of the dead. May the Black God use your body for target practice. May you never rise from the grave.

^*^

The moment he had closed the door to his rooms, however, he had quickly put up a protective spell around it so no one would listen as he lost his composure. He screamed. Mithros did he ever scream. He screamed at the betrayal of Roger. At losing him to treason. He screamed at his father for not burning him on the Hill. He screamed out all the anger, all the hurt. He screamed at Alanna for leaving even though he told her he had understood why she had to leave.

An hour later had found him getting ready for a party. Why his father had decided to throw one he would never understand. At that moment, he had decided to be different from his father. He could never let his feelings interfere with his kingdom.

“Your Royal Highness,” A smooth velvety voice broke through his thoughts. He finished getting dressed and answered the door, the spells had already broken and he smiled at the lovely lady for the evening. Clarissa. Her father had worked closely with King Roald and Roald had thought the two of them made a lovely couple. Certainly his mother had approved.

“Lady Clarissa. May I escort you to the party?” He was composed. The picture of a prince as he linked his arm through hers and led her away. Leaving his gloomy thoughts behind to a night that would look very promising indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> While working on the end a part of me thought back to The Woman Who Rides like a Man. When Alanna had told Jonathan that she knew he had affairs with Court Ladies. I thought this would be a nice twist.


End file.
